FLAP YOUR WINGS AND LET IT GO

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Now, if the duck had a human mind, this scene would go very differently. The duck may fly away peacefully, for a moment, but he would not put the fight behind him. He would keep the fight alive in his mind, by thinking and story-making.

The duck’s story would probably go something like this: “I can’t believe what he just did. He came within five inches of me. He has no consideration for my private space. He thinks he owns this pond. I’ll never trust him again. I know he’s already plotting something else to annoy me with. But I’m not going to stand for it. I’m going to teach him a lesson he will never forget.”

 And in this way the duck’s mind spins its tale, still thinking and talking about it, days, months, or even years later. He may never see his adversary again, but that doesn’t matter. The single incident has left its impression and now has a life of its own deep within the duck’s mind.

As far as his body is concerned, the fight is still continuing, and the energy his body generates in response to the imaginary fight is emotion, which in turn generates more thinking. This becomes the emotional thinking of the ego. The emotions feed the story and the story feeds the emotions. Endlessly. Unless the duck chooses to recognize that the fight is over, unless he drops the story, he will suffer from the endless cycle of his mind’s creation.

You can see how painful and troublesome the duck’s life would become if he had a human mind. But this is how most of us live all the time. For the average person, no situation or event is ever really over and done with. The mind and the mind-made story keep it going. Unlike the duck, we are a species that has the power to remember, which is both wonderful and problematic.

Our duck has an important lesson to teach us and his message is this: Flap your wings, which means “let go of the story,” and live your real life – here and now, in the present moment.

I came to this story and thoughts of Eckhart Tolle in his New Earth book.
Let us be more like these ducks – flapping our wings and releasing wasted energy out. Focus on what is here in this moment, not what it was and what is coming.
It feels I was more like that last year. I remember waking up with a big smile on my face and looking forward to seize the day, the adventure that was waiting for me. And I didn’t know what the adventure would be like, I just felt it will be something good. And it WAS reallly good. I just trusted myself and life. Maybe it had something to do with my daily yoga practices that made me very calm of what was yet to come, and gave me so much energy I could hug the whole world if I could. That “me” is kind of my role model, if I look back one year ago.
This year is different. Things are tougher  and I kind of lost myself a little bit along the way.
Due to a lot of yoga training and A LOT of physical work, I cut my daily yoga routine. My body just needed rest. Big time.
For two months or even more I stopped having my own practice, so I was only stretching my body on daily yoga and SUPyoga classes, but this is nothing to what personal practice can bring. Teaching yoga is A LOT different than doing yoga alone in your room, garden,… for yourself with your own flow and rhythm of the breath. Lack of my personal space and practice started showing on my mind and my body. I lost a bit of connection with myself. And weight. I lost balance. Maybe people noticed it too, because I’m just not myself lately.
I noticed I got intense again, a bit nervous, just like I was before I found yoga. Anger was coming and I didn’t like it. At all.
It all came to one event about a week ago when I got “woken up” by a random stranger.  Long story short – it was a really hot day and I was on the way to the lake site (not in a rush at all) but there was so much traffic on the street (like everyday here at Bled) – and I just lost it. I couldn’t take it anymore. My “wings were flapping all over my car and I couldn’t settle”.
And then one lady passed my car while I was passing hers. She looked full of good energy especially with that ice-cream she was holding in one hand. And she said: “Girl, there’s a line,…” and of course I lost it again, not on her but on all the traffic. I could feel when my body pumped adrenaline, all of a sudden I got a tingling feeling in my legs cold sweat around my body. But she, instead of bashing out back on me, calmly said: “yeah so easy with the nerves” and continued driving and eating that ice-cream. And I drived my own way. “Easy with the nerves,” that sentence was in my ears all day and that woman with an ice-cream is still in front of my eyes. She did so much with her calmness. Actually she made me kind of “wake up”.
I lied down at the lake that day and said to myself that this cannot continue like this anymore. I’m not moving forward but rather falling back down the same road. I am NOT HAPPY. My body is so out of balance, more than it ever since I discovered yoga. But it has nothing to do with not liking my job, I love it so much I got scared that I’m gonna blow this one away, because of my foolish actions.
I decided to make a stop to this. For the sake not just of my own mind and body, but all of YOU who come to my yoga sessions and who trust me that I’ll try to bring my best and give you at least a bit of a lighter body and a bigger heart.
I started taking more time for myself. Rolling myself straight from bed to yoga mat, even though I have day full of yoga sessions and other activites. Sometimes even breathing into my body (pranayama) makes it a better start of the day. And I started taking moments just for myself, by the lake or river. To flap my wings and to let it go and to be happy of what I am surrounded by in this very moment. And to pinch myself of what I’ve created from my past calmness and past trust in LIFE.
It’s time to remind myself again – to stay calm and carry on. (Which is also another message from one of my yogis that I got this week that made me smile. Moni, your message couldn’t come at a better time. Thank you). 

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