About two years ago it started, or maybe just continued. Another period of changes, separations, transitions, transformation, which happen to be a big period of closures.
That was also a time when I was living in between of a stressful job on one side and in a very intense period of training and self – exploration. Two totally different sides, lands that happen to make a lot of tension in between. Where am I going to be able to find time for all of this? And I wished/manifested that my schedule would loosen up a bit, so that I could have more time and space for exploration, studying – for growth.
And time appeared. But that on the other side of the spectrum created stress to someone else, on the other side of this story. When time appeared to me, that meant a destruction (at work) of something that was built full heartedly, with lot of commitment and passion. Something that was (and thankfully it still is) coming from their core, the centre.
This “double” sided story ended with separation, but without and end and separation. Without an answer and proper explanation. A goodbye. There was just my confused honesty what I wanted and what I didn’t, but I too didn’t know where (and how) to go,… So this story was, until this week, still somewhere up in there, in the air/in the clouds, always making me think, why it ended like this? In this way? That kind of separation, that kind of an ending without an ending.
Well, the answer is – to teach me something of course. To make me question and dig deeper. To give me a lesson. And it did.
This week I had a whole film rolling there in front of my eyes, a film about this relationship. And I saw and felt – how important it is – to ask yourself, to feel yourself, so that you know where to take your own path. So that you can come to full honesty, can come to yourself, to your own truth and your heart. Because only like this you know what is a YES, and what is a NO for you. And you aren’t all over the place, little here – little there, not destroying, but giving space. To yourself and others involved in a relationship.
You are giving space, so that something that is really truthful, full of heart (on the other side of the spectrum and a story) can grow, and not get destroyed by your current wishes and manifestations, but it can grow, move on and flow.
This can be nicely presented in relationships of any kind. If you are at work or a relationship that isn’t flowing anymore, you don’t have any spark there, the flow and sincerety and you are still there sticking around and sending confused energy out… Be honest with yourself and others and… leave, change your job, go… Because otherwise your wishes, your vibe starts to destroy something that is truly beautiful, special – to someone else involed in this story. Something that this person is building and watering from the beginning. With a full heart. Words, wishes, manifestations are a vibe that have a lot of power.
So start asking yourself – what is that something that drives YOU, what moves YOU. Not “little here – little there” (altough also this can take you somewhere, if it’s not playing around), what is anchored inside of you.
That is where you will know where to go – so that you can be a builder, supporter and not a destroyer. So that you too can create something from the heart and believe in it. And this too will grow.
This is not a story of an ego, who is better/worse, more/less important, who is up/down. It is simply a story of a heart and truthfulness. And you find that on your path. And yes, it hurts. Sometimes it REALLY, PAINFULLY hurts. But it gives you life and space – a change, transformation, a possibility where you can come back to your own heart, centre and truth. And there you can find thousands of answers to the repetitive stories in the past and rather quickly find answers to the questions who will appear in the future.
In you own beating heart. You will know.